Festive season making me mad.... :)

 

Some confusion is going on around me. This is part of life but I’m frustrated because people are doubting my actions and words as well.  Since, I’m part of Cultural forum SPICMACAY in NITIE, so I initiated the planning process for the upcoming event in November. I did this because nobody else was coming forward to initiate. I’m not strict but I always want to have a discipline in team. So, one of my mail regarding meeting created misunderstanding among people and the worst part was that nobody came to ask or clear it but took a strong stance against me. So, currently 3 people are against me. But I’ve decided to stick with the truth whatever may be the consequences. I will face it. Even if, I’m ignored in the event I will accept it. Well, this will go on. Why should I waste my time and energy thinking all this crap because I’ve read many times that people who follow right path or do right thing have to face much criticism. I will fight it with much inner strength.

Next thing is that I’m very excited about Diwali. This is one festival in whole year that I love the most. Though I’ve spent 3 weeks at home due to my chicken pox but still I’m on to go home this Diwali. I love this festival because some of the very nice incidents happened to me during or near Diwali. For example, I used to call her many times when I was at home for Diwali, I met P while going to home on Diwali last year, talked a lot with P last Diwali, meeting some of my best school buddies, late night chats with my bestest buddy Jatin, helping mom in decorating home, meeting random school girls on roads because they are also on holiday, travelling for home with all these feelings, jagmag lights at home and much more. There are also things that I hate about Diwali like too much traffic, no space to walk because of roadside vendors, too much rush on shops. But nothing is perfect and I still enjoy Diwali.

Afraid of love...

Since past 3 months  I’m out of habit of writing blog. This may be because of too busy academic activities in NITIE. There are lot many thoughts and emotions running in my mind and heart and I can’t hide them any longer. I’m not getting any PPO from Glenmark because I’m not at all interested as they are paying less. So my only hope now lies with NITIE’s final placement and I’m very much sure that I’ll grab a very good job.

Actually, I’m interested in PSU job. I’ve seen the life in a private job in 2 months at Glenmark and it was really pathetic. At least in a PSU job you can pursue your interests, hobbies and also give time to your family. Emotional energy is on a great height now a days. Just after my exams, I headed towards my home. On the way, I met a girl from Varanasi who’s pursuing her MBBS from Meerut. It was nice meeting her. Sometimes we find such a nice people in a journey that we are ready to befriend with them. Same happened with me. But train friendships don’t lasts longer.

Secondly, I’m afraid falling in love again. This I realized recently. I can be very good friend to someone but can’t trust anyone. Though I need someone to care of me, to laugh with me, to play with me and what not. But the fact is I can’t trust anyone because as SRK says in KKHH that “pyar 1 hi baar hota hai. Baar baar nhin hota”. Also other reason is that now I don’t think that my family is going to support me in case of any love marriage. My mom has made her mind for my arrange marriage and also made an image of ideal bahu.

So after spending 1 week at home, I went back to Mumbai. But as soon as I reached Mumbai, I suffered from chicken pox and was quarantined in my room for a week. Then Mom came and took care of me along with Abhineet, Amitabh, Gaurav, Aashu and Anuraag—my friends. Mom was worried about my weakness and so took me back to home and now I’m resting at home. Probably next week I’ll make my move for Mumbai and hopefully will start the placement preparation full-fledged. Also will try to get out of my sulky emotions as a hope always lies in my heart for “ SOME1 SOMEWHERE IS MADE FOR YOU”…

Sapney....

Last night I saw a dream and after a long time I’m able to recollect it. But this time it was special. Yes, I saw SRK and Jaya bachhan in my dream. I know it sounds funny and crazy. Actually the location was my BH1 hostel of NSIT and I was roaming in the hostel. I saw both of them tweeting on a big projector screen. You can see anything in your dream :) . I got very excited to see both of them. Not too much with Jaya but more with SRK. I told him that he’s my idol and he laughed. He was in a shirt and below towel wrapped (anything in a dream you know :P).He asked me why I think so. I was bit nervous and also excited. Then suddenly he started walking into his apartment (he wasn’t living in Mannat :D). But while going, he gave me a bouquet and also autographed it. Suddenly I asked him for a photo with me. I told him that I’ve a digital camera and I will bring it soon. He said ok bring it in jus t2 minutes. So I ran towards my room and don’t know what happened to my speed that I took ½ hour to bring the camera. But when I came back, there was nothing like SRK and I was very very disappointed. I thought he’d gone since I took so much time. But when I woke up in the morning, then realised it was a dream :( .
But I’m happy that at least I met him in my dream and probably one day will meet him in reality too. I know that the whole dream is too crazy to handle. But anything can happen in your dream no… :)

My mitr...

 So today’s lazy Sunday and I planned to go panajim’s Miramar beach. But couldn’t get anyone to come along.  So dropped the idea and slept for 3 hours. I know it sounds boring. This is what I’ve been doing from the last 3 Sundays. But can’t help it. I’m just counting my days here in Goa. Also, I bought a Sony’s Digital camera from my 1^st salary. Yippee… I was planning to buy it from long back and now finally it’s here. Though it’s very basic model but it will serve the purpose for the time being.

As I wrote it was a lazy Sunday, so I was fully occupied with only thoughts and no actions. I was actually thinking about my friend P. I don’t know whether we are good buddies, only buddies or just college mates because we don’t talk to each other on phone regularly. We don’t chat regularly. We don’t ask about each other’s wellbeing. We only chat after reading the status on gtalk. I’m such a stupid that forgot his birthday this time and wished him the same day but at the last. I’m really very very bad in remembering wedding, birthday, anniversary dates. God help me else my wife would kill me. :P

I prefer not to disturb him because he stays very busy. If he takes time in replying, then I try not to ping him again. He never calls me. It’s not like I expect a call always but sometimes I ask myself do friends behave like this?

But still in all those 4 years of college, I’ve laughed with him, studied with him (though sometimes), had fun with him and also cried with him. Yes, I’ve cried on his shoulders because he could only understand my tears. When nobody could understand me or my problem, I always called him and he was there with me. He supported me in my really tough times when even my love backed out. I really miss him sometimes. But actually he’s always in hurry. So can’t afford to waste his time. For me, he’s my true buddy. I don’t know about his opinion.  

I know he reads my blog. But the purpose of writing this post is not to tell him anything. Actually I really admire him for the way he is. He has a small child in him who makes him laugh, to enjoy, to worry, to dance and to sing too. I’m not saying that this child is not there in me but I don’t expose him all the time. I just smile at him when the child in me reacts to anything.  He is a geeky types who’s always engrossed in all news, novels, latest updates and what not. But I’m not like that. I respect the way he is though sometimes I get irritated when he doesn’t chats with me aimlessly, when he doesn’t talks on phone much, when he’s always in hurry. But he’s my friend and I don’t want him to change his behaviour towards me. I always try to keep him with me forever like FRIENDS FOREVER :)

LORD OF LIGHT..It is..

Today, I feel the most stupid person in this world. The reason behind this is something that everyone will laugh at. From my childhood, I always thought that my name’s meaning is Lamp of God. This is because I’m over influence by Hindi language. I read “sandhi vichhed” in class 10th and did sandhi for my name i.e. Deep+esh. I derived the meaning as lamp of God. Actually I can’t even blame my parents for that since it’s a Sanskrit word.
So by chance, today, I was searching the meaning of my name on google and the search returned something totally different. So finally, the meaning of my name is “Lord of Light”. Actually, it’s feeling very very stupid to change the mind set about the meaning of my name after 23 years. But will do it for sure.

Mixed feelings....

I’ve been encountering lot of mixed feelings from past 1-2 weeks. I’m in Goa for internship and its going fine. I’m happy that I’m giving my best. But still sometimes we feel rejoiced and sometimes very down on very minor issues. Same thing is going with me. I’ll start with part with happiness. Happiness comes from Bollywood. Yes, I really like Deepika padukone. I think she’s the prettiest actress I’ve liked after Juhi chawla. She’s damn cute in whatever she does either on screen or off screen. I didn’t like her in OSO with SRK. But last year, when I watched Love aajkal, I was lost in her. The way she acts, dances, cries, laughs is just awesome. I’m mad about her. I’m eagerly waiting for her new movie Houseful. I just love her.

Now comes some sad part. I’ve got some comments about my nature. I don’t know how to react on this. Somebody said that I behave in an extreme way. I love extreme and hate too. This is actually right about me. But I can’t help it.  I’m just like that and I’m happy the way I am.

Secondly, saw another brutal truth in this mean world. People promise, show affection, care and what not? But all these emotions and promises go in vain when time elapses. I don’t know why it happens. One should not show any hopes if he/she is incapable of doing anything. I know people stay busy. But you can still manage to take out some time. Anyways, I don’t need anyone’s care. I’m strong enough to fight anything in this world. I’m just saying this because time changes and with that people too.

Thirdly, I think I need someone and by this I mean something permanent. Someone for the lifetime so that I can completely rely upon her and never feel alone. Everything is going just fine in my life. The only dream left is this. Just because of this, I stay bit alone these days. But this doesn’t mean that I’m a pessimist. Was just feeling this way these days. I know these emotions will vanish soon with time. Fingers crossed :)

I'm Professional.. now...

So, my summer internship has started and today was my 4th day @ Glenmark generics Ltd. in Mumbai. Monday was the first day and was really special as it was my first office day. I reached andheri, where Glenmark’s HO is located which is a huge 6 floor building opposite to HUL, at 8.45 am. I called HR and she asked me wait for some time. After around 1 hour, she came and said that I will have to wait for another 1 hour as my work centre was getting ready and PC configured. I was rejoiced thinking that I’ll be treated as an employee of managerial position.
Around 12 noon, I was taken at my work centre and was given log in id and password of my computer along with a glenmark mail id i.e. deepeshk@glenmark-generics.com and a landline phone. Now that was something I was feeling proud of. The HR instructed to start online induction on Glenmark’s intranet. So I obeyed her and she told me that I’ll be meeting VP, supply chain management, who is also my mentor. Some kind of different feeling was running in my heart with lot of butterflies. Finally in the evening at 6pm I got the chance to meet my mentor who is generally damn busy. He gave me the project details and also told me that I’ve to go Goa next week to pursue the project and have hands on experience of operations management. He told me that whole of my staying arrangements will be taken care of. I was feeling glad on this.
Life has changed a bit now. It feels completely professional. I was thinking how the life would be once I’m in job. Lot of questions run in my mind daily with scary answers. I hope everything will be fine.

Cherishing the memories...

Lot of adventures happened in the past 20 days and I was really busy with academics, CPIM exam preparation and also some outing :D.

1. In the first week of February, we had a URS festival outside the NITIE gate where lot of things were present to attract people like giant wheel, death’s well (maut ka kua) and much more. I was really very very interested to go there but none of my friends were ready. But one day me and A decided to go there after dinner and then some more people joined us. We saw death’s well where 2 guys rode the bike on walls of the well and 1 guy drove a car there. It was really scary to see them. After that we went to some more rides which included giant wheel. While I was in the giant wheel, I was lost in my childhood memories when I use to go in a festival called gughaal ka mela in Saharanpur with my family. I was thinking how I use to hold the hand of my father and keep myself busy in watching toys etc. there. But now time has changed and today I was in such a kind of mela without my parents. It’s been a long time when I went to my city’s mela last. It’s a different feeling today to roam at different places without holding dad’s hand because we’ve grown up. But still I want to go in such festivals with my family and want to hold my dad’s hand again to cherish those wonderful memories.

2. Next adventure happened when we were attending our regular classes. Our lecture got over and as usual we went to have a cup of tea at canteen in academic block. We always have 10 minutes break between 2 lectures. In a lax way, we spent around 15 minutes there only and then when we went to the classroom, the room was locked from inside. Actually the environmental management’s professor is very strict. Like this we were thrown out of the class. We were thinking what to do next. So we planned to go Kala Ghoda art festival in churchgate. We were a group of 9 and had lots of masti on our way to churchgate by local train. Frankly saying, I liked kala ghoda but not that much as I don’t know how to appreciate art or on what parameters. I was a feeling a kind of bore there. Not only me but my few other friends also, excluding females as they go gaga over many things.

3. After KALA GHODA, we went for dinner and on our way saw Cyrus barocha shooting for some MTV show. Since we skipped our snacks, we were very hungry and stuffed ourselves. After this, next adventure was MARINE DRIVE. It was 11 in the night and we were sitting on the side of marine drive looking at the hotel Trident’s huge building and also enjoying cool sea breeze. It was really an awesome experience. I must say that Marine drive is the best place in Mumbai. It’s also called Necklace road as it is in semi circular shape. We clicked lot of pictures also. One end of marine drive is nariman point where the last seen of Wake up sid was shot. We sat on the rocks there for around 25 minutes. After this we went back to college. But still last fun of the day was singing songs in local @ 1 am.

4. MNIK released on 12th February and I was really eager to watch that movie. But none of my friends except A and D were ready to go and watch it. So I made plan with D who backed out on the last moment due to Sena-SRK tussle. It was Saturday and I was really depressed as I couldn’t find anyone to come along with me. I talked to P on chat who watched it and he told me not to destroy my fun just because of others and I realised that I have hell lot of dreams which I have to fulfil and can’t wait for anyone’s approval. So I decided to go alone and this was my first movie watched alone in a theatre. I really enjoyed it. MNIK rocks and so my dreams :). By the way, MNIK is SRK’s best performance ever and it’s a must watch.

5. And at last but not at least, we went to Thane for tree plantation activity with a NGO called HARIYALI, last Saturday. It was fun and we plan to go there in the future also. Currently I’m really busy with CPIM preparation whose exam is on 13th march and on 14th march I’ll be off to home. Really need some break to avoid being a home sick.

SRK- the living LEGEND...

This post is dedicated to my idol Shah Rukh Khan. You all must be surprised to hear this. Usually whenever I say that SRK is my idol, the people think that I’m too crazy about him. The fact is that he is my favourite actor and also my idol. People, usually, don’t like this when I praise SRK. But I can’t help it.
The reason for his being my idol is that this man has never seen any downward trend in his career as he is just the perfect. I want to be like him in whatever I do. He started his life from a scratch. Right from the days of fauji, circus and DDLJ, the man has achieved great success. He is one of those few stars who landed in Mumbai during 90s and were unable to have a full fledged house. But this man owns his house in bandra i.e. Mannat. I’m, actually, really impressed by his whole life and the various twists and turns it took. Not just his professional life, but his personal life has also been really fascinating. He did his schooling from St. Columbia, New Delhi and after that did his graduation from Hansraj college and then his masters from Jamia university, Delhi. In the mean time, he was doing theatres and plays and at that time only he did tv serials like fauji, circus which I loved watching and watched just because of him.
From his college days only, he loved Gauri and what a love he had and still have for her that he moved to Bombay in order to search her. He said once that he came Bombay with his friend and even slept at CST station in the night due to unavailability of accommodation. His friend said that there at CST he stood up and pointed to the buildings and said “One day, I’ll rule this city”. Finally, he is doing that. The aura he carries around him is just awesome and any one can go mad about him.
After his first movie Deewana which was a hit, he did some average movies also and then finally came Baazigar and Darr which gave villainous avatar to his personality and he even won filmfare award for best actor for Bazigar. The twist in his career came in 1995 when he became overnight star by DDLJ. Since that day, the man has not looked back. Some of his hit flicks are:
Deewana, Chamatkar, Baazigar, Darr( I love it where he played a passionate lover), Karan Arjun, DDLJ(the biggest blockbuster of Indian Cinema and also my all time favourite movie), Yes Boss, Pardes, Dil to Pagal Hai, Dil se, Kuch kuch hota hai, Baadshah, Mohabbatein( again played a dedicated lover), Asoka, Kabhi khushi kabhi gham(my favourite movie), Devdas(awesome performance), Kal Ho na ho(again my favourite), Main hoo na, Veer Zara, Swades(all three I like), Chak de India where he showcased his true actor for the first time, as he says and at last but not at least is Kabhi Alvida na kehna. I simply love this movie and have watched it around 6-7 times. But don’t know why people hate this.
Today, he acts, advertises, owns his cricket team KKR, lots of property across the globe, runs his production house Redchillies entertainment and what not which I don’t know.
Another thing which attracts me towards him is that he is also a Scorpion like me. So I always feel great to share my zodiac with stars like SRK and Aishwarya rai and it inspires me to attain success like him. Cool thing is that his son’s birthday coincides with mine on 11th November. If you observe carefully around you, then you will find that the man is everywhere, be it a multiplex theatre, TV, mall, road side banners or hoarding etc. His motto is that wherever people go, they should find him there. I like this thing which keeps him so busy that he sometimes is not able to sleep for 3 consecutive days. Some of his famous quotes are:

1. There are only two Khans. Ghenghis Khan and Shahrukh Khan.

2. I’d die if people didnt recognise me. I would not be able to walk on the road if people didnt mob me. That’s what I work for.

3. When I have the right to make you cry in a dark room for three hours, you have the right to ask me any question you want.

4. Sex is not required to sell my film. My name is enough.

5. Awards who ignores me are losers.

6. You never win the silver, you only lose the gold.

7. The dream I chased, took me on a journey. A journey more rewarding then the goals, the achievements. When I look back it’s like facing a million mirrors. Each reflection opens a window. A window to the world I’ve just discovered. The world I want to share with all of you.

8. Thank you for giving me so much love, that I don’t miss my parents anymore.

9. You can love me or hate me but.. you can’t ignore me.

10. I am very shy. If I am flying British Airways and the airhostess asks me two questions, and I don’t understand her accent - I will go hungry for the entire flight.

By the way, I’m waiting very badly for his new movie My Name is Khan, releasing on 12th February and I’m dying to watch it. Well, I've much more to write which I skipped thinking about to avoid making this post too lengthy. But, yes he is a LIVING LEGEND...
CHEERS TO SRK !!! :)

Yeh jo Des hai Tera...Swades hai tera...

Few days back, I went to a village to meet someone with my mom. As my mom doesn’t trust my driving, so she insisted to take public transport. We took a 3-wheelar in which there were other villagers also. It was fun travelling with them and at the same time I was thinking about the problems faced by the farmers of our nation. They were actually talking about the incentives given to them. They were saying that no incentives reaches to them and ministers are all corrupt.

In the changing times, they still face the problem of dowry. For the name sake, the roads are built every year but still the pathetic condition of the roads says it all. It’s mainly because of the poor quality of material used and the huge commissions taken by the ministers, contractors and middle men, from the funds. They were actually hailing our one of the previous leaders- Lal Bahadur Shastri who made huge efforts in uplifting the farmers of India.

After some time we reached a point from where we had to walk in order to go to the desired village called Manakpur. As I was walking, I was recollecting the words of our Marketing professor who once said that “when HUL recruits anyone from the colleges like NITIE :D, IIMs, SPJ, then the very first posting he/she gets is in the villages of Bihar or UP because if he can generate sales in those villages then he can be successful anywhere in India”. And that, let me tell you, holds very true. While walking, I also noticed one thing that some of the small children passing by us greeted my mom by saying “Namaste ji”. When I asked my mom that does she know them, she answered no and told me that they give respect to everyone who comes from the city. Now that’s something called the Culture of India which is almost hidden in our modern cities.

We reached there and met the person concerned. We also had lunch which they served us so respectfully. While returning again we had to walk a certain distance. While walking we encountered some farmers who were reaping small plantlets of sarso. My mom saw them and asked to give some sarso to us as she never spares a single instance of getting something discounted or free. I was feeling a bit awkward. When my mom asked about money then those farmers refused. For them, 10-25 rupees doesn’t make much difference. That’s the kind of heart carried by our farmers.

After I came back, I thought that though our FM declares that we are growing @ 7.9% even in these recessionary times but still we can’t see that 7.9% growth in these villages. That is only confined to our cities. Still a lot needs to be done to make our villages as dreamt by late Mr. Lal Bahadur Shastri. To make India look big, we require efforts from each one of us. But this will not happen because people like me who are so selfish that they only think about a life full of leisure, a job with fat package and a home in Delhi or Mumbai. They can’t think about India. They can only satisfy their own desires.

The REUNION :)

I came from Delhi last night only after having a reunion with all of my friends. We met in college itself on 2^nd January and it was a nice feeling after meeting them all. Actually I was feeling bit nostalgic once I entered the metro at CP to go to dwarka where my college NSIT is located. When I stepped on the road from dwarka mor metro station to NSIT, which is a walking distance, many old memories trapped me and same happened when I entered the hostel gate.

No one changed except S who removed his moustache after coming from New York in vacation :P. We actually met at Nescafe and after that we moved to jeeto’s, which is another place to hangout near hostels. We had a nice time there and clicked some photos. After that we went to sector 12 and had lunch there. We all ate like gluttons and people around us were staring at us on our mischief. But, who cares!!

The reunion ended in the evening and as I had to go gurgaon, so I planned to go there with V in train. But the train was late. So we had to wait on platform in the chilling weather. We waited for an hour and chatted a lot.

The next day I went to meet a friend in south delhi after which I again went to NSIT to stay with hostel friends, as I had to get provisional degree the very next day. I enjoyed a lot with them but I found that this time I was not feeling bad or nostalgic. Everything was normal. I discovered that it was not the place I missed but the friends who were not there and I wanted them to be there to have fun as before. I think my delhi trip was quite successful as I met all the people I love J. 

I know this post's content is crap, as usual. so I'm ready for criticism/comments !!

Bye bye 2009...welcome 2010 :)

There were many ups and downs which occurred in the year 2009. Actually, this year made me much stronger in how to face different circumstances.

So, the year began with the toughest exam of the season- XAT, 2009 which was on 4^th January. As usual, it was a disaster for me. Again, I lost my confidence and trust on God. Then came 9^th January when CAT results were declared and I was completely shattered when I came to know that I missed the calls by just 1 mark. But still I had some hope from NITIE. So I joined GD/PI classes in Lajpat nagar by Mr. Malay Ray who is an amazing personality from IIMA. I took coaching for around 1 and ½ months. The learning experience was really awesome but the experience for attending classes was really pathetic as I use to meet people with IIM calls and I was the only one attending classes with a hope of getting a call from NITIE. I don’t want to name but some of them even mocked at me.

On one side, I was waiting for NITIE call and on the other I couldn’t concentrate on my final year BE project. Actually I was screwing my project big time. I was the same person who once told my fellow classmates that “final year project is the biggest thing in the engineering degree and one should do it very sincerely”.  I was so tensed that I even fought with P. People say it right that true test of your friends come when you are in your difficult times. No one was there with me except Panks who always gave me strength, who was always there to wipe off my tears, to hug me, to help me, to motivate me and to say me before interview that “don’t think about those bastards and give your best”. Along with panks, I also want to mention vids and vibs who were also there to support me.

Like this, I went Mumbai. Not to visit the most happening city of India but to test my fortune for NITIE. All went well and on 8^th may, when result came, I was in. The very first person I informed was Panks who was always there with me in my KHUSHI AND GHAM.

In all this, golden days of college were also coming to an end and I did not like it. On our farewell, we went for a night out. It was fun, probably for the last time. My heart was aching because now I had to leave the best part of my life-NSIT. The pain of leaving NSIT was really much more than the joy of getting admission in NITIE. Finally on 4^th june, I left NSIT and moved to my place. I stayed there for around 10 days and in all those days I used to talk to V, panks and N daily. On 17^th june, I left for Mumbai and then started another phase of life with some different taste.

I indulged very badly in academics in NITIE. I could hardly get time to talk to all of my friends.

Then in august, I don’t know the exact date, but adi was going USA for MS/PhD programme and I called him while he was on his way to Delhi Airport. I talked to him and felt really bad as now we would be meeting in December, 2010.I still feel bad as it’s been a long time we met last in November,2008. Then on 11^th September, V was going UCLA for MS and as usual I called her. It was my statistics exam on 12^th and I was feeling bad that a friend was going far away. I talked to her at 6pm and thereafter couldn’t study. That’s another thing that I completed my whole course before that :P.

In October came the summer placement week i.e. 5^th to 9^th. Again I faced failures. But this time many work ex guys accompanied me and boosted my confidence that I didn’t feel bad being unplaced. On 15^th October, I left for my place with A to celebrate diwali. On my way to home, I met a person P who is now my very good friend as sometimes good things also happen to me too. In NITIE, I discovered about myself that whatever bad may happen to me in the short run but in the long run AAL IZZ WELL :)

V came here for 15 days but we couldn’t meet as she left last night and we are planning our reunion on 2^nd January. As usual I talked to her with a hope that we would meet next time.

And now it’s time for a new year. I hope all ends well this year too.

HAPPY NEW YEAR....